Why Would They Do That?

Answering tough questions about your child's birth country

We were all disheartened by Russia's recent decision. It brought some great questions from our community. How do we talk to our kids about decisions that are made by their birth countries that we don't agree with?

Like many issues we talk about it's important to understand where your child is coming from -- how old are they? What do they already know? How much might they find out on their own? What is it appropriate knowledge for the age/development?

Survivor's guilt can be a tough pill for a kid to swallow. Imagine how they feel: "I got to come here, why can't those kids?" That's a hard feeling to understand at any age.

  • Share your child's concern for others and remind them you love them. It IS sad that children won't find parents and parents won't find children. Express your joy that your child is a part of your family.
  • Get your family involved helping others
    • Write a letter to the Russian Consulate
    • Find an organization that supports kinds in your child's home country
    • Volunteer at a shelter for homeless children

Cultural Embarrassment can be a difficult thing to address with your kids. Your child shares something with the people in his home country - so when the government changes its policies or closes a program, your child may feel some embarrassment or even shame and not quite know why.

Emphasize that every culture is different. The people making decisions in these countries probably feel they are doing what is best, even if it differs from our own personal views. Find aspects of your child's country that they can be proud of. Celebrate the aspects they can take pride in and honor them in your home.

REMEMBER every child is different. Alter your approach to fit your child's own unique situation and help them to find aspects of their home country to be proud of.

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Discussion, advice and a few of our favorite experts. All for families formed through adoption.